Help! My Co-Worker Is My Relative & She's Up In My Business!

Dear hoops,

I've been having problems with a co-worker lately. She also happens to be related to me and because of that (and I'm twenty years younger than her) she constantly feels the need to protect me from my boss. However, her idea of protection is to look over everything I've done and often she belittles my hard work.

The other day she told me that my attitude makes me hard to work with and she's tired of my ingratitude. I tried to reply nicely that my attitude might improve if I didn't feel so pathetic all the time because my work never seems to be good enough. She responded that she would stop checking on my work when I stopped making mistakes. However, I rarely double check my work these days because I know she's going to waste time doing that for me so of course there are sometimes mistakes. None of them have been earth-shattering however.

How can I get her off of my back and out of my hair so I can enjoy my job and do it well, but also keep the familial relationship intact?

~Deeply Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

You know where you’ve come for advice, right?  What I mean to say is that you’re aware that I can be an unsympathetic prick, aren’t you?  I hope so or this reply might come as a shock to you.

My advice is to stop fucking up.  Stop being a lazy fuck and not checking your work because, “she’s going to waste time doing that for you.”  News Flash:  If she stops finding mistakes, she’ll stop feeling like she has to search for them! 

You throw out the wah-wah-whiny line that your attitude might improve if you didn’t feel so pathetic all the time because your work isn’t good enough.  Well guess what?  NO ONE FUCKING OWES YOU FALSE REASONS FOR YOU TO HAVE SELF-ESTEEM!  If you want to not feel pathetic about your work, start doing it better!  Start doing the kind of job that demands respect and attention and you’ll get it!  This makes me absofuckinglutely sick!  You want her to be nice to you and sugar coat everything so she you can feel less pathetic?  BULLSHIT!

You know who doesn’t feel pathetic?  People who are good at their jobs!  People who work hard, check their own work and minimize mistakes.  You know who doesn’t feel pathetic?  People who take PRIDE in what they do.  It sounds to me like you don’t take the first bit of pride in your work.  If you did, you’d never say something like that you don’t check your work because you know she’ll just WASTE TIME doing it anyway! 

I’m sorry.  But let’s keep it real here.  You feel pathetic and inadequate in your job because you do a pathetic and inadequate job.  Your relative likely feels like you are a reflection on her and SHE sounds like she doesn’t want a lazy, poor-me-pity-me reflection coming back on her. 

You want some advice?  Say thank you!  Tell your relative that you’re grateful to her for saving your lazy ass from being fired for multiple mistakes and tell her that you’re going to try to make it up to her by not being such a lazy fuck anymore! 

Look at your attitude about mistakes.  None of them have been “earth-shattering,” huh?  Tell me something, what about the sum of your mistakes?  If all of the mistakes your relative had caught had been ignored by her, what do you think the sum of all your mistakes would be?  Would they equate to earth-shattering?  What’s earth-shattering in your opinion anyway?  I’ll tell you one undeniable truth in ANY business and that is that a bunch of little mistakes become a big one EVERY time.

You think your relative is putting her nose where it doesn’t belong.  You think she’s stepping on your toes.  You think she’s the problem here.  You’re wrong.  Good employees don’t need to be regularly protected from the boss.  Good employees don’t need to have their work checked every day.  She belittles your hard work huh?  Poor baby!  Guess what?  If your work is truly good, it CAN’T be belittled!  If your “hard work” is done right, it stands on it’s own and defends itself.  It’s all very simple.  If you took pride in your work, there would be no issues here, but you don’t so there are issues.

You’re right though.  If I was your relative, I’d march right into the bosses office and tell her that I’d been covering for your lazy ass for a while now, that I had been correcting all of your fuck-ups and that I was done covering for you.  I’d tell the boss that you are a lousy employee and that I personally recommend that you be fired.  I’d tell the boss that I was ashamed of the work you did and that I expect better from my family, but that I had been grievously let down on that count.

If she did that then you wouldn’t have to deal with her checking your work anymore, you wouldn’t have to worry about her protecting you or belittling you.  You’d just be another fuck-up employee who is bound to be a former employee in no time flat.

You came to the wrong place if you expected or hoped for any kind of sympathy from me darling.  Do your damn job.  Quit being an embarrassment.  EARN your respect.  Work hard.  Then you won’t have any problems.

Fuck me,

hoops